Yes, it's the first birthday of EditThisPage and Manila. Not the idea of weblogging, mind you--as I've said elsewhere, journal writing on the web has been around since the mid-90s at least--but it has been one year since this particular weblogging tool was launched. And I, for one, am happy to celebrate it.

As it happens we were there too, virtually at the beginning, as our weblogging community began a mere six months later in late May, coincident with ATDP's summer session and its Internet Classrooms therein. So, it's our half-year anniversary! Congratulations to us... to each one of you who reads and writes in this space, for sharing a part of yourself over these last six eventful months in your lives, as well as reading the stories that others tell about themselves. As things go, these are simple acts... writing and reading. But at the core of it is something even simpler: attention.

It's not something you necessarily notice all the time, this attention. But it's a crucial part of how you do things. There's the attention you must marshall if you need to complete any given task, and if your attention is diluted, then chances are your effort will be half-assed, and the thing will take longer to finish. Attention is also a key component in how you want yourself perceived by the world at large; by your family and friends, your teachers and classmates, and everyone else. The quality of attention you receive -- and give -- correlates nicely with how well you feel about yourself and about things. But all this is common-sensical, gut-level intuition. And so the narrower, relevant question in this space really is: how does this issue of attention relate to weblogging, and to this community of readers and writers?

This is how I might look like in 10 or 15 years. ;-) Well, let me rephrase that. This is how I WANT to look like, in my later years: a cool, silver-haired, deeply brown individual for whom true happiness in life is revealed to be nothing more complicated than making, and selling, his photographs of tropical flowers. Jacob, a photographer and artist, is a new acquaintance I made a few days ago, while strolling around town. He was selling those pictures from underneath the massive and ancient banyan tree in the middle of Old Lahaina. (Click on photo to see more of it.) Jacob's part-Hawaiian, part-something else... 'hapa,' like many people here in the islands. And the stories he began to share with me about his life as a park ranger in the Big Island, about being a fugitive from the law in his wilder youth, will probably fill many a weblog to come. Jacob reminds me in some ways (not least of which being the facial features) of my younger brother Nathan, also a Park Ranger (but in CA).

If you've made it this far--and I know for a fact that many of you are very busy with school stuff now, and have very little time to spend reading weblogs (even mine, haha)--what you've just done is paid attention. It's something I do all the time, as far as weblogging is concerned. And for me, weblogging has become a kind of shorthand for the stuff I do -- "online mentoring via weblogs, AIM, e-mail, and the occasional phone call." Of course, when I'm in the mainland and thus much nearer most everyone on the list at left, the equation changes drastically, and it includes classroom time and hangin' out time.

This "stuff I do" is, of course, the thing I've really chosen to do with my life. No, it's not making pretty pictures of flowers, or even writing up pretty descriptions of pretty tropical flowers, charming as that might seem as a calling. It's all this. It's paying attention to you.

[ writing... ]

[ and getting some dinner... 7-ish p.m., Maui time ]

[ 9-ish p.m. got shanghaied by interesting conversations with Trev, Kati, Ozzie, my cuz Aaron Paul, Quad, and Kass. the last, by the way, was "Quadoshocked." tee-hee. yes, Quad suddenly got baptized as a verb. ;-) ]

10 p.m. The above episode -- talking on IM instead of continuing the writing of this weblog -- is actually an almost perfect example of this attention thing I'm talking about. It reminds me of something that happens now and then, in my life as a mentor (or just simply as an adult concerned about the welfare of kids, academic or otherwise): I have, from time to time, found my attention fragmented, or fragmenting. Spark (to cite only a recent historical instance) knows firsthand exactly what I'm talking about here. Part of the fragmentation has to do with my actual job during the summer -- yes, I still do have an actual job, David ;-) -- and part of it has to do with a simple mathematical equation. The sheer numerical superiority of the host of all of YOU (students) out there, is flummoxing. I sometimes don't know where to, or whom to, turn to next. I am only one. You are many. The voices can be captivating (loud? hehe) and insistent ...Ozzie, Kati ;-). Everyone's story/voice is intriguing, worthwhile, and important to me. The result is predictable: attention "deficit" on my part.

Which is why, in a very simple and useful way, weblogging for me has become a kind of bridge, a temporary way-station along this journey of connecting with each other. If we are to assume that there's no practical way for me to stay connected with all of you much of the time, then second-best measures ought to be considered. So when Chris and co. came to show what they were doing with Manila to me and Nina last spring, I finally saw the tool I had been looking for all these years. A tool that could, in some small way, help me spread the attention I want to give, and filter it as well. Long ago, I realized that I didn't have it in me to be there 100% for everyone all the time... and got penalized for that, believe it or not. And so I learned a valuable lesson, regarding expectations (others' as well as my own), and regarding the necessity of finding ways and means to TRY anyway to sustain and nurture the multiple connections that I have with you, and remain balanced, with equanimity. Manila was/is one of these ways.

[ 11-ish... will continue later, when all of California is finally asleep. lol. Aaron is online now, and being his usual provocative, thoughtful self. and now Spark is putting off whatever homework he has to do to discuss matters of grave import as well. LOL ;-) oh and hi Tom Fletcher, long time no bla *chuckle* ]

[ ack! 1 a.m.-ish... and i'm not even flipping yet. as this weblog is drastically unfinished. oh well, there's always tomorrow, and another day of editing. for now, i'll go to sleep as i'm thoroughly unaccustomed already to being up so late. am not in Berkeley any more you guys, heh. lovely talking to you all, though. ]

{ net.casting }
^